15.04.2014 4:29

Why choose men like my father

Psychologists say that most women subconsciously compare their chosen father and sometimes even unwittingly, choose someone who reminds them of the pope. You can search for the person intentionally, not similar to his father, but your choice will still fall on the man who will be with him any commonalities. What is the cause for such female selectivity, figuring author of “Cleo” Alexander Dudkina.

Daughter of my friend, who only recently turned 12, once said to his mother: “I will never marry!” Mom’s surprised the girl replied, “Because I’ll never find a man like dad.” It was after friend told me about this entertaining conversation, I thought: we all know that women choose men, reminding them of his father, but why is this happening? What makes the fair sex carefully look into each suitor, trying to find the features in it, which has the most important man in her life? Why even if due to certain circumstances we desperately want to meet someone who would be very much like his father did not , we still fall in love with his “reflection”? Of course, it does not always happen: there are cases when, tired of volition native dad, women choose men strong, confident, sometimes even violent.


However, quite often infirm fathers daughters have families with men like them: having understood from childhood that the head of the family can be commanded, this girl will be subconsciously seek submissive wife.

So why do we pay attention to those men whose actions, appearance and character see the reflection of his father?


Our family – a school of human relations, but more importantly, it is a school, which taught, what should be the relationship between a man and a woman. We look at his father and mother, and see how and what should happen in a normal couple. Think about that the most important people can be a bit crazy, and we would not dream of. Of course, now we’re talking about families where physical violence is used and where the relationship to taper off, ending in divorce. We are talking about two-parent families : Mom, Dad, kids. And in each of them their own rules and customs. In one domineering man completely submits his will a woman and she meekly bows his head; another man, on the contrary, throughout agrees with his wife that he wags as he wants. Daughter looking at the relationship mom and dad and decides, rightly so, and it should be. Not surprising that, as an adult, she will subconsciously look for a man with whom may build the same model of relations.

Little Girl Helping Father with His Tie

Daughter looking at the relationship mom and dad and decides, rightly so, and it should be.


Good relationship with her father as a child – that’s great, but, as paradoxical as it may sound, sometimes they can play a dirty trick on us. If dad daughter became true ideal: he is strong and brave, and caring, and knows how to listen and help in any situation, it is precisely such a man, the future father of your children, it will look afterwards. “My child should get all of that fatherly love, which I received as a child,” – thinks this woman and “rebuffs” one boyfriend after another. Neither one of them she did not see what it would be like the best image of his father in the world. Unfortunately, this search can drag on for years.


Psychologists say that even conflictual relationship with his father can make a girl fall in love with someone who reminds her of her dad. It would seem that all this is very strange: in theory women should run like hell from those who like their despotic and uncomprehending parents, but in this case all the more interesting. Unresolved conflicts with their fathers, which we think were a kid, really haunt us for a lifetime. Not surprisingly, we opted for the one who seems to us like a chief opponent of our childhood, and constantly him something to prove: that the right to freedom and independence , the need for a more explicit manifestation of love and affection.



Often, the fairer sex are turning their attention to the men who are much older than them.

If the life of the girl’s father appeared only sporadically: worked hard, often went on business trips or even divorced his mother when the child was still too small, for obvious reasons it fatherly love so much will miss the now grown-up girl. Often, the fairer sex are turning their attention to the men who are much older than them, partly because they want to make up for the lack of communication with the pope. They may not be aware of this report, but will need to close was a mature, successful men, often due to a desire to feel a little sheltered girl.