Productive communication – the key to success in society and in the work
Bad habits in communication lead to the destruction of relationships, and this, by the way, one of the reasons why there is still no peace came into the world. Below – the most common mistake made by all of us, often without even knowing about it.
- Do not use in conversation the word “we”
News: chat – it’s not a contest. At least, it should not be. However, many people consider the other person as “the enemy.” They talk to him in the language of “I am against you.” Should rethink this approach, and think of themselves as part of the team. Should work together, not against each other. Work to solve the problem, not to be a winner.
- Do not maintain eye contact
How often do we look to your smartphone at the moment when someone is something we said? Or a laptop, or a television? Even if you do not find yourself in such activities, you can be assured that they are. But each of us was on the other side – when people do not look at us when we give them something to talk. How do you feel when that happens? Not very good, right? So why not live by the golden rule “Treat others the way you want them to treat you?
What do you tell people when interrupting them? In fact, you say, “What I want to say is much more important than what you say, therefore, Peace.” It’s not too sweet message, right? Women are usually interrupted by the excitement, or because they fear to forget what to say. Men tend to interrupt, to emphasize his own power. But in any case, it says the source, “I’m more important than you.”
- Demonstrate neglect through body language
Ninety percent of the meaning of the message contained in the language of the body. That’s a lot. Eye contact – is also part of the language of the body, but only a small part. What about your posture? You are slightly tilted to the other person, or your body is positioned so that just screams “I absolutely do not care what you say?” And what about the inclination of the head? And how close (or vice versa – how far) you are from a friend? All this – the other party sends a strong message. As the saying goes, sometimes actions speak louder than words.
- Do not rephrase and repeat what he says spokesman
Have you ever told someone something, experiencing a vague feeling that they are, in fact, do not want to hear what you are saying?
Of course, they may tell you “Mmmm hmmm …” or “Yes …” or “Yeah …” But you know what they actually cannot hear you.
This is – time to paraphrase and repeat.
Try saying something like: “So, you said that when I was late, you start to worry, right?”
This will show the person that you will not only be heard, but also made sure to paraphrase what he said, just to show him what you heard.
- It is suggested before will hear the message
You probably once his whole appearance showed people, “Oh, I do not even want doslushivat it to the end – I already know what you’re going to say!” If yes, then do not do it. Surely you do not like it when others speculated about what you’re going to tell them. Therefore, you should not assume anything in advance.
- Allow their emotions to speak for you
You’re so angry, that just about bursting with anger? Well, of course. Through it all go. But do not let your emotions control you. Before the conversation, try to cool down, so you do not have to regret that uttered. Then, when the ability to reason logically come back, it is worth re-read the first paragraph about the word “we.” Remember – you are a team, and it – not competition.
- Not asking leading questions companion
The phrase “Tell me more about the interesting case with you” or “What do you think about this?” We give the other person to understand that they are interested in so that the requested detailed information. This is called “deep questions”. Ask people to tell the details. Are invited to share his thoughts. Concerns and interests with people doing real miracles.
- Recalls themselves and their own lives more than interested conversationalist
If you have never interested interlocutors what is happening in their life, then you look in their eyes is incredibly self-centered. There are people who when they met 95% of the time talking only about himself. It would be nice to give a chance to speak and the other party.
- We should certainly “win” in the dispute
And again: the relationship – no match. Recognize that you are not right – it is not a sign of weakness. This is a sign of maturity. No one can be always right, people make mistakes, it’s in their nature.
So that the recognition errors are unlikely poshatnёt your position in society. It only shows that you can trust, because you can afford the luxury of honesty.
- Criticize companion, not his words or actions
How many times have you heard (or said) things like: “You are unbearable, I do not want to talk to you!”, and maybe even regretted it later. All of us from time to time behave badly, but criticism of the interlocutor – the most unconstructive way of communicating. In truth, such a dispute will be quickly lost, and the discussion will turn to offensive squabble.
- believes that people – telepaths
People who are able to read the thoughts of others, does not exist. So why do we expect them to have? Women are usually guilty of this more than men – they use indirect rather than direct statement. But if you really want to understand you, you should speak directly. Otherwise you will not be able to attract companions to justice, should they distort the meaning of your mysterious message.
- subject to the “language of powerlessness”
This is such an incredibly polite language, giving power over someone. For example: “I’m sorry, I do not really bother you if …” “Very!”
Or: “This may be a stupid idea, but …” “Of course, silly!”
Do not use this kind of phrases you do not want to the source you plugged the mouth.
- Allows all in a row to distract our attention from the interlocutor
Your phone. TV Set. Thought. Bad attitude. There are an infinite number of things that keep us from the most carefully listen to the interlocutor. With all of these things have to be careful. If you do not, then you inevitably will send the other party a message like “This deserves my attention a lot more than you.”
- Do not be sensitive and understanding
You see your way on his own. Someone else sees it differently. So who of you is right? It all depends on who is asking, is not it? Sometimes there is no “objective” reality. This is just the way he sees it. Sensitivity and understanding of what the other person’s experience is real only for himself – is the key to a good relationship.